If I decide to stop breathing
by Lord of the dark Fluffiness
Summary: Jealous feuds, Cheating lovers, Cat Fights, and alot of cussing. All between Blade, Hiei, Tsuaya, and HitoriI have a good ending.Song Fic: Breathe No More by Evanescence


_**Just a little warning I make Hiei kinda evil in this. **_

_**If I decide to stop breathing….**_

_**(I've been looking in the mirror for so long)**_

She sat and looked into the mirror trying to see deeper than she knew it would show her. What was wrong with her? Why did she think these horrible thoughts? She wasn't good enough for him but she tried to convince herself it was the opposite. Was she really living this lie? This confusion, Was it really her life? The thoughts that replayed themselves in her head. The constant pleading of her heart to stop. Stop this nonsense, this pain, and the thoughts that kept her going. All she had was the jealousy that resided inside her, and the memory.

_**(That I've come to believe my soul is on the other side)**_

Hitori had never been the one to convince that she was wrong. As she grew up she was a loner with no one on her side and no one in her heart. Love was a foreign thing. Until the day she met Hiei. Oh Hiei was most definitely the one for her the way she looked at him everyone knew. Other girls seemed to like him too and Hitori would get so jealous it was unbelievable. Thoughts slowly crept into her head oh horrible things she could do to them. Hiei began to love another. Even though Hitori knew that Blade liked her and always had she began to use him as a subject and his love worked with her schedule. Hitori would give him what he wanted only if he did the same in return.

_**(All the pieces falling, Shatter)**_

This most definitely became something of a dream. He was there then he was gone. Hitori did her research and found out about Hiei's past at a price for Koenma. Her life soon became a nightmare. Doing this and that for Koenma and Blade and yet Hiei never noticed. Encounters soon came, little meetings in the hallway. Tsuaya, Hiei's Girlfriend, soon became the reason for Hitori's hatred and it grew with every time they met. The worst part was that Hiei seemed to enjoy the two girls that fought with everything to proclaim him as theirs.

_**(Shards of me)**_

Blade was jealous and Tsuaya showed off her right to Hiei by public displays of affection in front of Hitori. Hitori soon left Koenma after their relationship became violent. Fights broke out everyday just because of Hiei and the want of him. Hitori's life slowly became to evanes. Starting with the first day of the last fight.

Tsuaya's Stand: 

_**(Too sharp too put back together)**_

Hitori walked solemnly down the hallway of her school. Tsuaya had become a great deal stronger and Hitori did not know whether she could stand up to her being a demon she would not die unless it got very violent but she would be badly injured unless she was to ignore Tsuaya. As Hitori pondered these thoughts Tsuaya walked towards her slowly approaching her prey.

_**(Too small to matter)**_

Then Tsuaya pounced.

"What are you doing walking all alone when you know that you are in my territory?" Tsuaya asked Hitori. Hitori was not going to back down regardless of whether she could win the fight or not.

"Whatever I damn well please" Hitori replied.

"Oooh bitch you have a death wish don't you?" Tsuaya told Hitori more than asked.

"Only if its yours" Hitori said trying not to look as scared as she felt.(a lot of cussing)

_**(But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces)**_

And then the fight commenced the crowd yelling at them some cheering some yelling profanities. And as expected Hitori lost horribly to Tsuaya. Tsuaya walked away with only a black eye and a fat lip. Hitori lost much more in this fight. She lost Hiei, her dignity, a lot of blood, and some of her hair.

Meeting friends from the Past:

Hitori walked down the nearest ally way. Thinking about her life and what was really worth living in it. Suddenly while deep in thought looking toward the ground she bumped into someone. They dropped whatever it was that they were carrying. Hitori bent over almost on instinct to help them pick it up. She handed it to the boy and began to walk away thinking about who that was because he looked so familiar.

"Hitori!" Called a voice from behind her. Hitori turned around and saw the boy standing there. He ran forward and stood in front of her. Hitori looked toward the ground, He could not see her like this. Hitori remembered who this was but had never paid much attention to him in school before. Kurama gently put his hand on here chin and lifted her head up. Looking deeply in her eyes he whispered:

"Are you O.K?…….You Look hurt?" He said to her. Hitori averted her eyes to look once again toward the ground. Kurama had a worried look in his eyes that Hitori never noticed because of where her eyes were placed. Kurama got on his knees and took a first aid kit out of his bag and began to help her. _(This man, He was Hiei's friend before Hiei became what he is now, Why is he helping me? Why does he care?) _Hitori thought to herself.

_**(If I try to touch her)**_

When Kurama finished Hitori thanked him quietly and ran away. Kurama stood there his eyes following her. _(Hiei doesn't deserve her; She is better than him, So much better)_ Kurama thought his eyes still trailing her.

**Think Better Thoughts:**

Hitori arrived home and lay on her bed thinking over the events of the day. That Suiichi or Kurama which ever he wanted to be referred to as, he was nice to her. For the first time he talked to her and actually cared deeply.

_**(I bleed, I bleed)**_

What was worth living in her life? Was it really Hiei or something else? Was it the chance to defeat someone and win something?

_**(And I breathe, I Breathe no more)**_

She took a deep breath. _(Oh well)_ She thought.

Hitori looked thoughtful for a second. _(What if I decide to stop breathing?) _She asked herself. _(Would any one really miss me?)_ Again she questioned herself. Suddenly a picture of Kurama flashed through her mind. _(Why am I thinking about him? He probably just thinks I'm a bother)_ Hitori sighed.

_**(Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well)**_

I need to stop thinking totally. Then it struck her. Was she really thinking about suicide? It could be a possibility. _(Think better thoughts, Think better thoughts)_ She told herself. But it was a lie. Like she ever could.

_**(Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child)**_

If she did write a suicide not who would it be too? Who would be in it? Did Kurama care for her? She should ask him. But what if he rejected her like everyone else did? She could not face Hiei after that. _(If you hate me Kurama please lie to me) _Hitori pleaded in her head.

_**(Lie to me)**_

_**  
**_

Tsuaya's P.O.V:

_(I just beat Hitori but did I win anything?) _She asked herself. _(Me)_ Came another voice. _(Stop it Hiei you know I don't like fighting her and some prize I won)_ Tsuaya thought to the voice that trailed her and she feared and yet did not at the same time. _(You are arrogant; do you want me to leave you for her?)_ The voice asked. _(No)_ Tsuaya thought and she could sense Hiei's presence was gone. She had lied too much and it would come back to her actually she hoped that Hitori would take Hiei and he would leave her alone.

_**(Convince me that I've been sick forever)**_

Hiei was abusive and beat her when she did not obey him. She should have left him a long time ago. Everything was just so confusing. Every time she felt pain it could be traced back to something Hiei told her or had done to her.

_**(And all of this will make sense when I get better)**_

Some time now she would have to fight Hitori to the death and it would not be pretty. She did not want to kill Hitori nor did she want to die herself but one of them would be bleeding by the time this was over.

_**(But I know the difference between myself and my reflection)**_

She must face Hiei when the time came and what if she got beat would Hiei have her back or would he try to leave her for Hitori? What would Hitori do? Would she return to him? Even after all the pain he has caused to them both. Tomorrow she will ask Hitori to help her fight Hiei.

_**(I just can't help but wonder which one of us do you love?)**_

The Next Day:

Tsuaya walked down the hallway slowly to try and spot Hitori to ask her.

Hitori walked the opposite way to try and find Kurama and she found him surrounded by his fan-girls. Hitori squeezed through the girls and had to get straight to the point since she spotted Tsuaya walking towards her.

"Kurama, Do you care for me?" She asked him. The whole room was quite awaiting his answer. And it was obvious that the same question was running through everyone's minds. _Did he? _Except for Tsuaya who had other things to think about.

_**(So I bleed, I bleed)**_

_I hope he does_ Tsuaya thought to herself, which is the exact opposite of what the fan-girls were thinking.

"Yes, Hitori…..I Love you" Kurama confessed. There were gasps from the crowd and Hitori stared at him. Was she dreaming? Did he really just confess love to her? Hitori threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Deep and passionate but quick.

_**(And I breathe, I breathe no…)**_

Tsuaya approached them both.

"I'm ready" Hitori proclaimed and stepped forward to fight Tsuaya.

"No.." Tsuaya began but the voice took over and she could not stop it. _(No Hiei you can't do this I don't want to fight her!)_ Tsuaya tried to persuade the voice. (Silence! You will fight and I will force you too) the voice said.

_**(Bleed, I bleed)**_

There was a fight waging inside of Tsuaya's eyes and she began to fight but not of her own will. She was losing horribly. Bleeding from many places she closed her eyes and let the pain wash over her. Hitori stared at her it was obvious she was in pain, they both were. But Tsuaya had her eyes closed and seemed to be trying to stop.

_**(And I breathe, I breathe, I breathe….)**_

Tsuaya got up slowly and fell right back down.

"Hiei help me, you made me fight! Help me! No Leave I hate you! Leave me and never come back! Hitori don't go back to him he is horrible he will hurt you in ways you have never dreamed of! Run away!…please….Just be happy…." Tsuaya finished. Hitori looked down sadly at the broken girl that lay beneath her. Hiei put his hand on her shoulder. Hitori pushed his hand off her and turned back to Tsuaya.

"I don't want him back" Hitori spoke softly. Hiei looked surprised and then glared at Kurama who stood next to Hitori. Kurama glared back. Hitori bent over and put Tsuaya's arm over her shoulder and slowly got up with Tsuaya and walked towards the door holding Kurama's hand they walked away from the pain and Kurama sighed. Hitori looked at him.

"This is everything I have ever wanted" Kurama said.

"Remember what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he ever wanted" Hitori told him.

"What happened?" Kurama asked.

"He lived happily ever after" Hitori said and they both smiled.

**_(I Breathe no more)_**

**_Oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0oo0o0_**

_A/N: Yeah I think that's a nice ending…_


End file.
